i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
