I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
so much tequila, so little girl.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
