Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
