I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He kissed a someone with a penis
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
