It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
