I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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