all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
