mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
