recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
