We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
