this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
