I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
