And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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