Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
