do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
