I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
