we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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