he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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