I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
