I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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