it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
