its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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