I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize