if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
