Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i dont even know how to be here
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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