ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
