I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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