Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
