You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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