It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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