I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
