So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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