It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
