You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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