Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
