I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
