Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
