I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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