Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
