i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
