we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
