Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize