Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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