who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize