he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
