Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
