i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
