Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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