it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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