you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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