But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I need to stop coming to work sober
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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