if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
