I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
