Jerry, you need to find god
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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