No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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