Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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