Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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