Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You have to summon your inner elephant
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
