So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I deserve this hangover.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
