Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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