Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
