I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
