I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
