I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
ttyl tear gas
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
