Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
