they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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