U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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