Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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